23rd Sunday after Pentecost-Proper 25B

23rd Sunday after Pentecost-Proper 25B October 28, 2018 I want to start with a quick Q&A today. What is the worst, most unhelpful thing someone has said to you when you were suffering? How about one of these… “I know just how you feel.” “It’s for the best.” “Keep a stiff upper lip.” “At least...” “You should or shouldn’t” “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” “It’s God’s will.” “Suffering is good for you. It builds character.” (That’s what they used to say to us in seminary…) How many of you have had someone say one of these things to you? I won’t ask you how many of you have been the well-meaning friend who said one of these to someone else who was suffering, but I suspect none of us is immune from having done this either. In light of all this, the book of Job may have been written for us. Now, I know what you’re thinking because I’ve thought it too: “Ugh, Job! I hate that book! Why on earth would anyone want to preach on that?” Well, friends, I don’t really know the answer to that. All I know is that I (and the other two preachers who have been in this pulpit over the last three weeks) had managed to successfully avoid engaging the book of Job for the last month, but today that success has come to an end. So let’s talk about Job. We’ve heard four different passages from this book over the last four Sundays. It’s a book of the bible whose time setting is deliberately ambiguous beginning with the line: “There was once a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job.” The beginning goes on to tell us that “Job was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil.” But of course, don’t you know, there has to be drama. At the heavenly convocation, the adversary engages in a bet with God saying: “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Have you not protected him and everything he has and have you not blessed all the work of his hands so that his possessions increased? “But stretch out your hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” And God takes the bet, and tells the adversary that Job is now in his power but he can do anything except to stretch out his hand against Job and harm him physically. So the adversary wreaks all kind of disaster on Job: his oxen and donkeys are stolen by the Sabeans; the fire of God falls from heaven upon all his sheep and burns them up; the Chaldeans make a raid and carry off all his camels; a great wind blows upon the house where all Job’s children are eating together and all of them are killed; and all of his servants (except three messengers) are killed in all these simultaneous disasters. Job responds by tearing his robe, shaving his head, falling on the ground and saying: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked shall I return there; the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” So the adversary goes back to God and says that’s all fine and good, but I bet if you let me harm his body, he will still curse you to your face, and God says, ok, give it a try. So the adversary inflicts loathsome sores all over Job, from his head to his foot. Job’s wife encourages him to curse God and die, but Job responds to her: “You speak as any foolish woman would speak. Shall we receive the good at the hand of God, and not receive the bad?” (And that’s just the first two chapters of the book!) The next 29 chapters of the book consist of round after round of debate and rants between Job and his “friends.” They are debating the notion that is prominent in scripture of retributive justice: “that God so orders the world that everyone receives reward or punishment commensurate with his or her behavior, thus maintaining a morally coherent environment that encourages ethical responsibility.”i In other words: good things will happen to good people and bad things will happen to bad people. In our world view, we refer to this as “karma.” Finally, after Job has questioned and ranted about God’s justice and demanded an audience with God, God shows up in a whirlwind and instead has some questions for Job: “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone when the morning stars sang together and all the heavenly beings shouted for joy?” This goes on for a while, and then Job, having received the audience requested from God answers God meekly with our reading from today: he tells God that he had heard of God but now he has encountered God directly, and he seems to be transformed by this encounter. God tells Job he needs to pray for his awful friends, and after he does, God restores everything to Job in even greater abundance, including giving him 10 more children. I don’t know about y’all, but part of the reason that I have always struggled with Job is because this happy ending rings hollow for me. And maybe that is the point. When we experience great suffering, it changes us, and no matter how hard we might try, we can’t just wish our way back to the way we were before. The lesson that this difficult book has taught me in the wrestling with it this week is that when we try to explain or even understand suffering in our world and God’s part in it, we fail. God is good and the mystery of God’s fullness as well as the way that our actions (both good and bad) affect us and each other will always be unfathomable to us in this life. Sometimes things happen and there is just no explanation, just no reason. But Job and Jesus show us that God does not abandon us, even when it feels like it, even when we are at our lowest. God is present and suffers with those who suffer. The Facebook “On This Day” feature revealed to me a post I shared three years ago titled When the Going Gets Tough… by Katrina Kenison. It gets to the very heart of what we are called to when the going gets tough, either when we are suffering or when we are called to sit with someone else who is suffering. Rather than offering one of those easy, empty sayings that none of us appreciate hearing, here is a different way: “When the going gets tough may I resist my first impulse to wade in, fix, explain, resolve, and restore. May I sit down instead. When the going gets tough may I be quiet. May I steep for a while in stillness. When the going gets tough may I have faith that things are unfolding as they are meant to. May I remember that my life is what it is, not what I ask for. May I find the strength to bear it, the grace to accept it, the faith to embrace it. When the going gets tough may I practice with what I’m given, rather than wish for something else. When the going gets tough may I assume nothing. May I not take it personally. May I opt for trust over doubt, compassion over suspicion, vulnerability over vengeance. When the going gets tough may I open my heart before I open my mouth. When the going gets tough may I be the first to apologize. May I leave it at that. May I bend with all my being toward forgiveness. When the going gets tough may I look for a door to step through rather than a wall to hide behind. When the going gets tough may I turn my gaze up to the sky above my head, rather than down to the mess at my feet. May I count my blessings. When the going gets tough may I pause, reach out a hand, and make the way easier for someone else. When the going gets tough may I remember that I’m not alone. May I be kind. When the going gets tough may I choose love over fear. Every time.”ii When the going gets tough, may God be with you, and may you know the strength of God’s presence. Amen. Throntveit, Mark. Exegetical Perspective for Proper 24 from Feasting on the Word Year B Vol 4: WJK, 2009, p. 175 https://onbeing.org/blog/when-the-going-gets-tough/

Rebecca and Jason's Wedding Homily

Rebecca and Jason’s wedding October 13, 2018 I was struck by a common theme weaving through the readings that Rebecca and Jason have chosen for this holy day. It’s the theme of blessing. In the reading for Tobit, Tobit and Sarah pray together to bless God and then to ask God’s blessing to be upon their union. The Ephesians reading offers God’s blessing to its reader/listener. And of course the Beatitudes are the quintessential passage of blessing in the gospels. This common theme shouldn’t be surprising, perhaps, because, after all, isn’t that what we are gathering together to do today? (It even says it on the front of the bulletin. It is the “celebration and blessing of a marriage.” But there is something surprising about all of this. That is the unexpected nature of the blessings that these scriptures talk about. Tobit talks about the blessing in marriage of finding a helper. He also asks God that they “may find mercy and grow old together.” The unexpected blessings in Ephesians are that the readers/listeners may be “rooted and grounded in love” and that they may be “filled with the fullness of God.” And then the gospel reading is all about unexpected blessings—how those whom the world would scorn for their suffering or their littleness are actually the ones who will be blessed by God. Jesus teaches that God’s unexpected blessings will be found in times of mourning, persecution, and peacemaking. Today, Rebecca and Jason, you will make your vows to one another before your gathered community of faith and your family and friends. And you will kneel before God to receive God’s blessing upon you both and upon your marriage. We will ask that God will pour out the abundance of God’s blessing upon y’all—defending you from every enemy, leading you into all peace. We will ask that your love for each other may be a seal upon your hearts, a mantle about your shoulders, and a crown upon your foreheads. We will ask God to bless you in your work and companionship; in your waking and sleeping; in your joys and your sorrows; in your life together and in your deaths because your marriage will encompass all of those things and more. But the thing that I want you to remember today, and especially in all the days to come, is that I invite you every day to look for the unexpected blessings that marriage brings you. Look for the ways that the other is a helper to you and for the ways that you can be a helper to the other. Pay attention to the ways that you both find mercy together. Seek out the blessing of your love in times when each of you individually and both of you together mourn. And listen for the ways that God blesses you in your peacemaking-out in the world and in your life together. What a joy it is for us to share this day with you. In the days and years to come, may you find God’s mercy and much joy and may you grow old together. Amen. Amen.

20th Sunday after Pentecost-Proper 22B

20th Sunday after Pentecost-Proper 22B October 7, 2018 “Sometimes the issue isn’t the issue.”i I was reminded of the truth of these words this past week, as I gathered with colleagues from around the diocese to learn about conflict management. In fact, I would go so far as to say that most of the time, in conflict situations, the issue isn’t really the issue. Those of you who are familiar with organizational development theory will remember the diagram of the iceberg. And those of you who know the story of the Titanic will remember that it wasn’t the part of the iceberg that they saw above the water that did the damage to the Titanic. What they saw wasn’t the issue. It was what was under the water that sunk the Titanic. The Lutheran pastor David Lose starts his blog post this week with that line: “Sometimes the issue isn’t the issue.” And he’s talking about the gospel passage for this Sunday. Our gospel for today is one passage in a series of passages where Jesus has been specifically teaching his disciples about discipleship. Then, Mark tells us that the Pharisees come to where Jesus is teaching in public and they seek to test him by asking him about divorce. Jesus answers them with a question, and then responds that the law was written “because of [their] hardness of heart.” When they are alone, Jesus’s disciples question him further about what he has said, and he elaborates further. And then we see him become indignant with his disciples when they try to keep people from bringing children to Jesus for his blessing. Now there is much that has been written about Jesus’s stance on divorce in this passage. It is certainly difficult to hear in our modern context, where I doubt there is anyone here in this church who has been untouched by divorce in some form or fashion. And I will remind you that in Jesus’s time, women and children were property, and the Jewish law said that a man could divorce a woman “if she does not please him because he finds something objectionable about her…” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4) And in Palestine, women were not even allowed to sue for divorce at all. (If you struggle with this scripture, and want to talk to me more about it, then I hope you will call me.) But I want us to remember that “sometimes the issue isn’t really the issue.” The issue here isn’t really about divorce. Sure, that’s what the Pharisees bring up to try to trap Jesus. But the issue here, Jesus is saying, is really hardness of heart. The Pharisees have it. The disciples have it. We have it. And we can see the opposite of hardness of heart in the open-heartedness of the children and the people who bring them to Jesus for his blessing. It is our hardness of heart that leads to our sin and our broken relationships with each other. It is for our hardness of heart-to protect us from ourselves-that God gave us the law. And it is for our hardness of heart that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead, transforming all of creation and us through the power of God’s love. We are saved, over and over again, from our hardness of heart through the grace of God in the Holy Spirit working in and among us, in our lives, in our world. This past week, one of my colleagues and I were talking about how we had seen God this past week in our conflict management training. He observed that we were all asked to bring a conflict to talk about, so we all came with these conflicts, some of which were clearly very painful situations for the individuals involved and the churches. We learned some tools to use to assess them, and we prayed about them together, and we talked about them together, and we created action plans. Then we laid our conflicts and our action plans on the altar at the closing Eucharist where they were --all of them--blessed. Where we came with these messes that we were feeling frustrated about, and probably a fair amount of hardness of heart, we left finding both ourselves and the situations transformed by the Holy Spirit’s gift of new ways of seeing and a good dose of hope. Sometimes the issue isn’t really the issue. If you find yourself in conflict with someone else, I invite you to take a step back and to consider if there might be more to the matter than first meets the eye. Then, I invite you to remember that the only person you can control is yourself. I invite you to ask the Holy Spirit to remove from you your hardness of heart and to help you be more open-hearted. And then pray for the person with whom you are in conflict, or pray for the one you consider to be your enemy. Ask God for that person to receive all the good things that you would want for yourself. God wants us to be in relationship with God and with each other; God’s grace can and will transform us if we will have it. i. http://www.davidlose.net/2018/10/pentecost-20-b-the-issue/